Alex Really Freaking Hates....

People Reading Over Her Shoulder



Back the fuck up bro.



I have had a HUGE problem with this for as long as I can remember. Maybe it stems from my love of reading out loud. Maybe it has to do with my neck-phobia thing. Maybe I'm just a bitch. Who knows? Either way, I absolutely cannot stand it when people read over my shoulder.

This is not your computer. You are not looking at so and so's facebook page right now. If there was something funny I wanted to show you, I will tell you so, show you this funny thing, and then our interaction is concluded. Do not remain behind me and read everything else on my screen and comment on it.

You want to know what this article I'm reading says? Wonderful! I will read aloud to you. I have a beautiful speaking voice and am very enthusiastic in my readings. Do NOT come to my computer and lean over my body to read the article yourself. If you do not want me to read it aloud to you, I will email it to you and you can read it on your own computer as many times as you wish.

DO NOT ask me what was just on my screen. It is 100% not your business and it is pretty much guaranteed to make me dismiss you and make you feel like crap. Don't make me do that to you.

If you're curious about what I'm doing so quietly over here on my computer, please, feel free to ask. If it's anything even slightly intriguing I will be glad to share. But for the love of all that is holy, BACK. THE. FUCK. UP.

Alex really freaking hates......

Pedestrians

 

I had an experience this morning at the BART station which sent me into an early morning rage and reminded me how much I loathe pedestrians. The reasons why I hate pedestrians are as numerous as they are completely justified. Let’s enumerate a few of them.

1. They are arrogant. I don’t know why pedestrians think that technically having the right of way makes them suddenly superheros who can’t die. I do not care if you have the right of way; walking into the street without making sure there are no cars coming is suicidal. I am operating a gigantic moving weapon. I ALWAYS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY.
2. They are selfish. By all means, pedestrian, choose to walk across the street right as I’m pulling up to the crosswalk, even though there are zero cars behind me. And please, PLEASE, walk slower, because I, like you, have nowhere important to be.
3. They are oblivious. I see this all the time (slash this was me this morning): some poor car has been sitting at a busy crosswalk forever, waiting for a break in the constant stream of pedestrians so it can turn right, and yet everyone keeps walking on, like they own the road and everyone else must wait for their royal highness's to pass.

I could go on and on but I don’t care nearly enough.