Caity and Alex vs. Public Transportation

Is there anything in the universe more frustrating than public transportation? We think not. What sets it hands and feet above all the other annoying things in the world is the compilation of obnoxiousness. Public transportation is a plethora of irritation, a cornucopia of pissed off people, all trying to get where they need to go and making everyone else crazy in the process. Here's a small list of the INCALCULABLE amount of things that Caity and Alex find irritating about public transportation:

1. Non-Commuters during rush hour. Surely these people have a death wish. Or perhaps the reason they can meander about all higgly piggledy during rush hour is because they're too stupid to have a real job. Either way, they are slow. They block the escalators. They stop walking in the middle of a crowded walk way. They think the entrance to the train is a good place to figure out, "Is this the train I want?" I DO NOT CARE, JUST MOVE OR DIE.
2. The constant and never ending construction. If the escalators aren't out, then the elevator is. The stairs are closed for repair. How the fuck do you even close stairs? This one tile broke so we need to replace the ENTIRE left side floor. This entrance is closed for repair. I'm sorry, but this track needs repairs. IT NEVER STOPS.
3. Delays delays, delays. There's a medical emergency ahead. We apologize for the inconvenience but there's an issue with BART police. Ladies and Gentleman, this train is now out of service, please exit the train immediately. I'm sorry, did you need to be on time to work? We apologize for the delay. Which leads me to...
4. Assholes who break the train trying to sneak in the closing doors. People. If you try to run in through the BART doors and they close on you and pop back open, the train is immediately shut down and put out of service, meaning EVERYONE has to get off. We all know this, espeically the commuters. And yet somehow, it still happens. Some people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
5. People who talk to you. I have my head phones in. I am reading a book. I am staring sullenly out of the window. Does it look like I want to hear about why you picked those flowers and are bringing them in to work? I have no desire to know what your cat had to eat for dinner. I do not care that you read this book and really liked it. Actually that's a lie, I will talk to you about that. But other than that, please recognize when your conversation is not desired.
6. Teenagers. There is no way that my friends and I were that loud and annoying when we were 17. Surely we didn't scream about nothing and play our music without head phones and shriek at levels only dogs can hear and laugh like fucking hyenas. THERE IS NO WAY.
7. Over-the-shoulder Text Readers. Sir/Ma'am, if you think you're being sly about the fact that you are literally peering over my shoulder, trying to read the text message I am about to send, I really hate to inform you that you are NOT.

Obviously these just touch the surface of annoying things on public transportation but we don't have the time to go on and on. Which we could. All day. Anything we missed?

Alex Really Freaking Hates....

People Reading Over Her Shoulder



Back the fuck up bro.



I have had a HUGE problem with this for as long as I can remember. Maybe it stems from my love of reading out loud. Maybe it has to do with my neck-phobia thing. Maybe I'm just a bitch. Who knows? Either way, I absolutely cannot stand it when people read over my shoulder.

This is not your computer. You are not looking at so and so's facebook page right now. If there was something funny I wanted to show you, I will tell you so, show you this funny thing, and then our interaction is concluded. Do not remain behind me and read everything else on my screen and comment on it.

You want to know what this article I'm reading says? Wonderful! I will read aloud to you. I have a beautiful speaking voice and am very enthusiastic in my readings. Do NOT come to my computer and lean over my body to read the article yourself. If you do not want me to read it aloud to you, I will email it to you and you can read it on your own computer as many times as you wish.

DO NOT ask me what was just on my screen. It is 100% not your business and it is pretty much guaranteed to make me dismiss you and make you feel like crap. Don't make me do that to you.

If you're curious about what I'm doing so quietly over here on my computer, please, feel free to ask. If it's anything even slightly intriguing I will be glad to share. But for the love of all that is holy, BACK. THE. FUCK. UP.

Alex really freaking hates......

Pedestrians

 

I had an experience this morning at the BART station which sent me into an early morning rage and reminded me how much I loathe pedestrians. The reasons why I hate pedestrians are as numerous as they are completely justified. Let’s enumerate a few of them.

1. They are arrogant. I don’t know why pedestrians think that technically having the right of way makes them suddenly superheros who can’t die. I do not care if you have the right of way; walking into the street without making sure there are no cars coming is suicidal. I am operating a gigantic moving weapon. I ALWAYS HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY.
2. They are selfish. By all means, pedestrian, choose to walk across the street right as I’m pulling up to the crosswalk, even though there are zero cars behind me. And please, PLEASE, walk slower, because I, like you, have nowhere important to be.
3. They are oblivious. I see this all the time (slash this was me this morning): some poor car has been sitting at a busy crosswalk forever, waiting for a break in the constant stream of pedestrians so it can turn right, and yet everyone keeps walking on, like they own the road and everyone else must wait for their royal highness's to pass.

I could go on and on but I don’t care nearly enough.