Monday, June 11, 2012

Caity and Alex vs. Public Transportation

Is there anything in the universe more frustrating than public transportation? We think not. What sets it hands and feet above all the other annoying things in the world is the compilation of obnoxiousness. Public transportation is a plethora of irritation, a cornucopia of pissed off people, all trying to get where they need to go and making everyone else crazy in the process. Here's a small list of the INCALCULABLE amount of things that Caity and Alex find irritating about public transportation:
  1. Non-Commuters during rush hour. Surely these people have a death wish. Or perhaps the reason they can meander about all higgly piggledy during rush hour is because they're too stupid to have a real job. Either way, they are slow. They block the escalators. They stop walking in the middle of a crowded walk way. They think the entrance to the train is a good place to figure out, "Is this the train I want?" I DO NOT CARE, JUST MOVE OR DIE.
  2. The constant and never ending construction. If the escalators aren't out, then the elevator is. The stairs are closed for repair. How the fuck do you even close stairs? This one tile broke so we need to replace the ENTIRE left side floor. This entrance is closed for repair. I'm sorry, but this track needs repairs. IT NEVER STOPS.
  3. Delays delays, delays. There's a medical emergency ahead. We apologize for the inconvenience but there's an issue with BART police. Ladies and Gentleman, this train is now out of service, please exit the train immediately. I'm sorry, did you need to be on time to work? We apologize for the delay. Which leads me to...
  4. Assholes who break the train trying to sneak in the closing doors. People. If you try to run in through the BART doors and they close on you and pop back open, the train is immediately shut down and put out of service, meaning EVERYONE has to get off. We all know this, espeically the commuters. And yet somehow, it still happens. Some people shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
  5. People who talk to you. I have my head phones in. I am reading a book. I am staring sullenly out of the window. Does it look like I want to hear about why you picked those flowers and are bringing them in to work? I have no desire to know what your cat had to eat for dinner. I do not care that you read this book and really liked it. Actually that's a lie, I will talk to you about that. But other than that, please recognize when your conversation is not desired.
  6. Teenagers. There is no way that my friends and I were that loud and annoying when we were 17. Surely we didn't scream about nothing and play our music without head phones and shriek at levels only dogs can hear and laugh like fucking hyenas. THERE IS NO WAY.
  7. Over-the-shoulder Text Readers. Sir/Ma'am, if you think you're being sly about the fact that you are literally peering over my shoulder, trying to read the text message I am about to send, I really hate to inform you that you are NOT.
Obviously these just touch the surface of annoying things on public transportation but we don't have the time to go on and on. Which we could. All day. Anything we missed?

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