Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Inaugural Posting of the "I Hate Everyone Who Isn't Caity and Alex" Club

Welcome to the first official posting of the "I Hate Everyone Who Isn't Caity and Alex" Club! If you're reading this, you are a very blessed person indeed. Most likely, you're Alex or Caity. So let's get down to brass tacks.

The “I Hate Everyone Who Isn’t Caity and Alex” Club

Founders and Co-Presidents, Alex and Caity.

Our Mission Statement, which is stated to the right:
The “I Hate Everyone Who Isn’t Caity and Alex” Club has a duel mission. Firstly, it was created to combat all of the horrible crap in the world that does not have to do with Caity and Alex. Secondly, it strives to teach the plebeian masses about the glory of Caity and Alex, and how their life philosophy can improve the once mundane lives of their followers. No one will ever be Caity and Alex, but they can strive to be LIKE Caity and Alex. Either way, they’ll probably still hate you.

Our Mascot:
The flawless Kenzi. She's the only person who isn’t Caity and Alex that Caity and Alex like, because she exemplifies the Caity and Alex life philosophy.

Club Motto:
I would, but I really don’t want to.

Club Rules:
1. If there is a choice between tv and social interaction, choose tv. The only exception is if that social interaction is with Caity and Alex, in which case, you’re welcome world. However, that’s highly unlikely, as they always follow rule one.
2. Cats are superior to every other animal, including humans. Especially humans.
3. On the weekends, human interaction and pants are always optional.
4. Teddy Grahams and chocolate frosting are a perfectly acceptable dinner. So is red wine.
5. Exercise is NEVER acceptable. EVER. Cut that ish out.
6. Stefan Salvatore is the most amazing vampire ever. Fact.
7. If you don’t make yourself laugh, you’re joke isn’t funny and no one wants to hear it. Don’t say it.
8. Caity and Alex are always right, even when they’re wrong. They defy logic.
9. Capslock is always appropriate. UNTIL IT’S NOT.
9. Rules can be added by the Co-Presidents whenever they want and as many they want. Bitches.

  • How do I know if I’m a fan of Alex and Caity?
Here are a few simple questions you can ask yourself to determine whether or not you’re a fan of Caity and Alex.
1. Are you breathing?
2. Do you like awesome things?
3. Do you like pretty things?
4. Are you opposed to stupid people?
If you answered yes to all of these questions, congratulations! You’re a fan of Caity and Alex and eligible for membership.
  • Will I ever be a member of the club?
Of course! Everyone is welcome to be in the “I Hate Everyone Who Isn’t Alex and Caity” club. Being a member simply means you share our views on life, that you too hate everyone who isn’t us and love us as much as we love ourselves.
  • But does that mean you hate me too?
Sadly yes. But there’s nothing you can do about that, so why dwell on it?

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