Pants Optional

Thursday, May 3, 2012

NEW RULE: Stupid people are God's way of pointing out who is evil.

Rule #13: People who are stupid should be avoided at all costs. We're not talking about people with legitimate mental disorders, or who have weird little quirks like they can never spell "white" correctly, or they have a mental block against alphabetizing. We are talking about idiots like the people in the example below. If you are just now realizing that hot water mixed with cold water makes warm water, please excuse yourself from our presence immediately, or gain a new understanding of evolution.

Caity: oh my gosh people are stupid
             I just heard a guy telling another guy in the break room that he discovered something about the water dispenser
           "if you mix the hot and cold in a cup then it's warm"
           WHERE AM I
Alex: KILL THEM
Caity: I SHOULD
me: It's not even murder. It's Darwinism
Caity: exactly
            or karma

Just. Wow.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Alex Really Freaking Hates....

People Reading Over Her Shoulder

Back the fuck up bro.

I have had a HUGE problem with this for as long as I can remember. Maybe it stems from my love of reading out loud. Maybe it has to do with my neck-phobia thing. Maybe I'm just a bitch. Who knows? Either way, I absolutely cannot stand it when people read over my shoulder.

This is not your computer. You are not looking at so and so's facebook page right now. If there was something funny I wanted to show you, I will tell you so, show you this funny thing, and then our interaction is concluded. Do not remain behind me and read everything else on my screen and comment on it.

You want to know what this article I'm reading says? Wonderful! I will read aloud to you. I have a beautiful speaking voice and am very enthusiastic in my readings. Do NOT come to my computer and lean over my body to read the article yourself. If you do not want me to read it aloud to you, I will email it to you and you can read it on your own computer as many times as you wish.

DO NOT ask me what was just on my screen. It is 100% not your business and it is pretty much guaranteed to make me dismiss you and make you feel like crap. Don't make me do that to you.

If you're curious about what I'm doing so quietly over here on my computer, please, feel free to ask. If it's anything even slightly intriguing I will be glad to share. But for the love of all that is holy, BACK. THE. FUCK. UP.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Google is a sneaky bitch

At work today, Caity and I were gchatting like normal, when Google decided to play a very mean trick on us. At approximately 10AM, I stopped receving IM's from Caity. It happens sometimes, she is at an actual job, so I proceeded to send her random IM's for the next 2ish hours. Around 12, Cate texted me.

Caity: Why do you hate me
Alex: UMM, I've been messaging you with no response since like 11:30!! Why do YOU hate ME??
Caity: False! I've been doing that to YOU!
Alex: I think google may be playing a cruel joke on us...

So I investigated.

Here's the conversation from my POV:
Alex: omg i was going to say he looks like Old Aslan
Caity: hahaha
            he is!
            pretty
Sent at 9:52 AM
Alex: UGH
           okay
           gross, i hate deadlines
Sent at 11:01 AM
          Feels Good at First - Train
           that ones from the new album and i like it
Sent at 11:51 AM
          Oh I like this one too
         Bruises
         Oh I like this one too, "SIng Together:
Sent at 12:04 PM

And HERE's the conversation that was actually happening:
Alex: omg i was going to say he looks like Old Aslan
Caity: hahaha
            he is!
            pretty
Sent at 9:52 AM
Caity: I'm pretty sure the people here think I'm psycho
            they come in to the room pretty often to take chairs for other meetings
          and when they bring them back they call them "my friends"
            because no one is ever in here with me
            so I get lonesome
            the chairs are my only company
Sent at 10:24 AM
Caity: why is ann hathway in les mis?!
            I'm pissed
          I hate her
Sent at 10:27 AM
Caity: WHERE ARE YOU
            TALK TO ME
            I'M BORED
            DYINGGGG
Sent at 10:39 AM
Caity: I think I'm gonna go to Nordstrom Rack after work...
            My new deodorant smells good
            WHERE ARE YOU
Sent at 10:47 AM
Caity: you suck
            http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/omg-malfoy-you-act-live-i-even-care.jpg
Sent at 10:56 AM
Alex: UGH
           okay
           gross, i hate deadlines
Caity: FINALLY
            GEEZ
Sent at 11:01 AM
Caity: why am I looking at bikinis on Nordstrom.com?
            I super like this one http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/seafolly-bikini-top-bottoms/3280768?origin=category&resultback=6498
          aallleeexxxxx
Sent at 11:13 AM
Caity: you're killing me
             i bought candy from the store yesterday and forgot to bring some to work
            buhuhu
            http://i.imgur.com/UuVQe.gif
Sent at 11:20 AM
Caity: http://i.imgur.com/MMpco.jpg
            you're no use to me
Sent at 11:31 AM
Caity: I can't believe you're just... NOT talking to me
Sent at 11:45 AM
Alex: Feels Good at First - Train
           that ones from the new album and i like it
Caity: AGGHHH
            are you going to be my friend now?!
Sent at 11:51 AM
Alex: Oh I like this one too
           Bruises
Caity: AALLEEEXXXX
            WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEE
            yep
           dying
         I hope you're happy
Sent at 12:00 PM
Caity: I love modcloth but their swimsuits are terribly unflattering
Alex: Oh I like this one too, "SIng Together:
Caity: I'm going to kill you.

Google, you little bastard.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

This is an Important and Relevant post.

I haven't made a post in a while. Caity's been doing real things so she couldn't chat with me last week and be funny. So instead, I give you one of our favorite things/our mascot.

Pissed Off Cats:

You're welcome.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Even Golden Bears are no match for the glory of Lost Girl

Alex: what are you up to?
          studying?
          being a good student?
Michelle: just came home from clinic and eating lunch
                  well its kind of ur fault i havent been the best student in the world
Alex: oh no, what did i do now
Michelle: there is this one little thing that has been consuming my life called LOST GIRL!!
Alex: NO
           STOP IT
           YOU'RE LYING
Michelle: nope golden bears dont lie
Alex: OMGGGGGGGGGG
Michelle: at first i was like eh but now its game over
Alex: RIGHT
           MICHELLE
           DO I EVER STEAR YOU WRONG
           thats not how you speal that
           OMG THAT EITHERr
           I'M TOO EXCIUTED
Michelle: nope once again right on the money

You see that people? Golden Bear approved. If you're not watching Lost Girl, Caity, Alex, and our honorary club member Michelle judge you and question your life choices.

So do Bo and Kenzi.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Relevant.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Caity and Alex do work?